“I find myself drifting in pain these days. Numbness to life. Missing myself, questioning my life. Questioning everything that’s happened to me. I have thoughts of letting go and I stop myself. I hate being there, but being there. I hate not feeling, not living. I feel like I’m a timebomb waiting to go off. I see so much hate, so much anger in the world. I feel people talk without holding themselves accountable. I hurt going to bed, I hurt waking up. I feel like no one understands. I feel like no one knows. I don’t feel connected to anyone. Even my own blood. I hate feeling this way. I wish it would end. “ 09/11/2020

I’m still hurting, hating, regretting, and holding on to thoughts.